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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22599301">Sorry I missed your big day</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlyCalypso/pseuds/AlyCalypso'>AlyCalypso</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shameless (US)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Fiona-focused, Mentions of bad stuff that happened in canon in the past, Multi, Takes place during The Wedding, season 10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 14:47:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,644</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22599301</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlyCalypso/pseuds/AlyCalypso</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Fiona isn't able to attend Ian and Mickey's wedding, but she reflects on their relationship and her feelings toward Mickey. Among other things.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Debbie Gallagher/Sandy Milkovich, Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, some references to Lip Gallagher/Mandy Milkovich</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>164</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Sorry I missed your big day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is me needing a story behind Fiona not coming to the wedding. That's it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The sound of her feet hitting the pavement with each new step resonated in her ears, matching the ever accelerating rhythm of her heart. Tap tap. Tap tap. Tap tap. Her running speed was steady, her path familiar, turning into this street, and then that street, going all the way down the alley and back. As much as this place was her home now, it was still new, this wasn’t the street she had grew up on, this wasn’t the tree under which she had had her first kiss, this wasn’t the school she had attended and then dropped out of, this wasn’t the bridge under which she had found her passed out dad regularly for years, this wasn’t the South Side of Chicago, but it was home now.</p><p> </p><p>She took a sharp left turn and ran all the way to the two-story building in which she had found the perfect apartment. She opened the front door with her badge, crossed the small but green yard she shared with her neighbors, climbed the stairs two by two, and opened the door to her place with her key. It was a reasonably sized one-bedroom that had been furnished with an old sofa and a run-down mattress when she had first rented it, but was now decorated with taste, her taste (and the sofa and mattress had been given to charity).</p><p> </p><p>She went to the open-plan kitchen, opened the fridge to grab one of those hipster coconut water she loved to buy now, and closed it only to see the wedding invitation, stuck under a magnet, displayed for all to see in the middle of random restaurant menus and her weekly schedule. She untucked the piece of glossy paper from under that ugly magnet shaped like the state of Illinois, and looked at it fondly. Her baby brother was getting married, this was wild. She would never have thought Ian would be the first one of her siblings to get properly married, with a wedding ceremony and everything (she would have bet on Debbie), but she also wasn’t that surprised, even if a small part of her still wished it wasn’t to Mickey Milkovich of all people, but she guessed it made sense, in a twisted sort of way. When she had first received the invitation in the mail, her mind had gone back to all those years ago, when Lip and Ian had told her Mickey was getting married to some ghetto whore (who she now knew and still despised as “Svetlana”), when Ian had spent that week drinking himself numb, passing out on the couch where she usually found Frank, and Lip had told her their brother would explain when he was ready. Lip already knew at the time, of course he did, Ian told him everything, and Fiona had found herself at a total loss when Ian had completely disappeared a couple of weeks later, and it had taken her a few more months to get the whole picture and understand everything (well, “everything” was a big word here because she was certain there were still things Ian hadn’t told her and that she would never know and it broke her heart a little bit). For the years that had followed, she had hated Mickey with all the strength she had because he had hurt and broken her little brother’s heart. Even when Mickey was there, present and caring, she couldn’t help but resent him and blame him for every time Ian was miserable or unhappy. She knew it was more complex than that, her brain knew that, rationally, and she knew she wasn’t right, but her heart, the piece of her who thought like a mom, wanted nothing more than to shield her kids from being hurt, and, in that capacity, Mickey represented a threat because he had the possibility of breaking Ian’s heart. The last time she had seen Ian though, just before leaving, when she had visited him in the last place she had ever wanted to see him – prison – he was so happy and he was smiling brighter than he had smiled in years and she knew, against all of her wishes, that it was because of Mickey, thanks to Mickey. So she hadn’t been that surprised when she had received the wedding invitation. Had she hoped their relationship would fray again once outside the prison walls? Yes. Had she known deep down that it wouldn’t? Also yes.</p><p> </p><p>She put the invitation back under the magnet. It was today. The wedding was today and she was missing it. She had thought about going, she had found a dress and almost bought a plane ticket, but then… Then she had realized that she wasn’t ready to go back to Chicago, she knew that if she went back she wouldn’t be able to leave again, she would find something to do, someone to fix or to help, and she would fall back into that role of the mother to her siblings that she refused to be again. She had felt terrible leaving, she didn’t want to abandon them, she didn’t want to be Monica, but she also really needed to get out, she hadn’t chosen to have all these kids like Monica had, she hadn’t chosen to be born into this fucked up family only to be given the role of the matriarch because her parents were incompetent. She had needed to leave for her own sanity, to build herself outside of this place and find out who Fiona Gallagher truly was. She wasn’t ready yet, she wasn’t strong enough to go back to Chicago, so she had called her brother, apologized because she wouldn’t be attending, and when she had woken up that morning and remembered the date, she had sent him a text with a lot of heart emojis. She wanted to do more though, so she picked up her phone and dialed Ian’s number. No answer. She tried Lip next. No answer. Debbie was the third on the list, she picked up after the second ring, with a big smile on her face and rice in her hair.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey Fiona!”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey Debs! I tried to call your brothers but couldn’t get to them.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, Ian and Mickey just left in the car Liam ‘borrowed’ for them...”</p><p> </p><p>“Borrowed?”</p><p> </p><p>“Took without the owner’s permission but will definitely give back. I don’t know where Lip is. I think Carl is hooking up with Julia in the bathroom, which is gross...”</p><p> </p><p>“Who’s Julia?”</p><p> </p><p>“She’s a bitch, but it’s a long story. And Liam is right here, helping us clean up.”</p><p> </p><p>“Us?”</p><p> </p><p>“Me and Sandy.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sandy?”</p><p> </p><p>“Milkovich. Mickey’s cousin.”</p><p> </p><p>As if summoned, a vaguely familiar face appeared on the screen next to Debbie, said “Hi Fiona, you missed a great wedding”, kissed Debbie’s cheek and disappeared again.</p><p> </p><p>“Seriously?” Fiona heard herself sigh.</p><p> </p><p>“What? She’s very nice.” Debbie argued.</p><p> </p><p>“A part of me just thought we would be done with the Milkoviches forever when Lip and Mandy first broke up…”</p><p> </p><p>“And now we’re related to them forever.” Debbie smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“Well… At least it’s for love, and not because one of them accidentally knocked up one of us, or vice versa.”</p><p> </p><p>Debbie laughed and the sound filled Fiona with happiness.</p><p> </p><p>“Why are you wearing a wedding dress by the way? Don’t tell me you also got married!”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I didn’t. It’s another long story, I’ll tell you about it later. Do you want to talk to Liam? I think Franny is falling asleep on the floor where I’m pretty sure somebody puked.”</p><p> </p><p>Fiona barely had time to agree before she was handed to her youngest brother. Liam was her deepest regret. Several of her deepest regrets actually, from that awful time she let him swallow cocaine to her recent departure, leaving him behind without even saying goodbye. They had talked a few times since, and she had apologized again and again, but she was still hurting every time she saw that sad little smile he was trying to hide when they FaceTimed.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey buddy, how was the wedding?”</p><p> </p><p>“Good, even Frank cried. And then he hooked up with the Polish lady who owns the place...”</p><p> </p><p>“Typical Frank.” Fiona smiled. “What’s that about you ‘borrowing’’ a car though?”</p><p> </p><p>Liam smiled – a real, proud smile – and then proceeded to explain to her the details of how he had tricked their father to not only get the perfect car for Ian and Mickey, but to also get him to come to the wedding. Fiona could still sense the sadness in her baby brother’s words though, and his need for a parental figure in his life. She wanted to apologize again, and she promised herself she would buy him a plane ticket one day so that he could come to live with her, if he wanted it that was.</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t manage to talk to Ian until at least a week later (apparently Debbie had been arrested or something and the house was in its usual state of chaos), but he was so happy that it warmed her heart, and the way he referred to Mickey as “his husband” brought tears to her eyes. She realized at that exact moment how proud of him she was for coming all this way and for marrying the man he had been in love with for almost ten years, and she didn’t feel one ounce of resentment toward Mickey anymore, she was just purely and utterly happy for her little brother.</p><p> </p><p>It was another week until she received a digital link to their wedding album. She saved all of the pictures and printed her favorite one of the newlywed couple. She then framed it and displayed it proudly on the shelf in her living room where she already had pictures of all of her siblings and Kev and V. This felt right.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Leave kudos and/or comments if you wish. And you can also come talk and share with me on my <a href="http://ilostmylifeonline.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a>, it's always appreciated :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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